I don't want to be fixed
I don't know about you, but for me life is always harder when I'm trying to fix everything. So I finally decided that maybe being "fixed" is not the way to go. I was reading I Samuel Ch. 1 about a year ago when it really hit me. This chapter is about Hannah, and in verses 15 &16 she talks about "pouring out my soul to the Lord" and "praying here out of my great anguish and grief." Praying out of "great anguish and grief" this sounded like something I wanted, but I wasn't sure if I had ever prayed like that before. I wondered what would make someone pray such a prayer. I came up with only one conclusion; she was broken. Hannah's heart was broken over the call God had put on her life to have a son. This wasn't about Hannah, but about God.
Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." I'm always wanting to be closer to God, and his word says that He is close to the brokenhearted. If I truly want to follow God, then I must be broken.
Now there are two different types of broken. The first one is before someone knows the grace and forgiveness that God offers through Jesus. Before knowing Christ we are completely broken over ourselves, and that makes sense because we have no reason to be broken over anything else. However, after accepting what Jesus did for you, I believe it is clear that we are to be broken over everything but ourselves. It will cost you something to follow Christ, and that something is yourself.
Being a broken believer, means I "pour out my soul to the Lord" over everything but me. I'm broken over my neighbor, my wife, my friends, my enemies, and everyone in-between. Being "fixed", means going back to me, which in turns means for me sin. All my sin comes from my selfishness, so to go back to me, is to go back to my selfishness. I still do not go a day where I don't pursue myself at some point, but this is what I'm trying to die to daily. Being broken doesn't mean being perfect, it just gives me a different perspective on what it means to love God and love my neighbor as myself.
Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." I'm always wanting to be closer to God, and his word says that He is close to the brokenhearted. If I truly want to follow God, then I must be broken.
Now there are two different types of broken. The first one is before someone knows the grace and forgiveness that God offers through Jesus. Before knowing Christ we are completely broken over ourselves, and that makes sense because we have no reason to be broken over anything else. However, after accepting what Jesus did for you, I believe it is clear that we are to be broken over everything but ourselves. It will cost you something to follow Christ, and that something is yourself.
Being a broken believer, means I "pour out my soul to the Lord" over everything but me. I'm broken over my neighbor, my wife, my friends, my enemies, and everyone in-between. Being "fixed", means going back to me, which in turns means for me sin. All my sin comes from my selfishness, so to go back to me, is to go back to my selfishness. I still do not go a day where I don't pursue myself at some point, but this is what I'm trying to die to daily. Being broken doesn't mean being perfect, it just gives me a different perspective on what it means to love God and love my neighbor as myself.
posted by Cody Brown at
12:45 PM
3 Comments:
I think you explained a lot of good stuff here, that passage was a good one.
I still wonder what this practically looks like? I mean on a day to day level, tangibly what does that look like for you?
By
Ariah, at 6:59 PM
Day to day, it looks like a lot of failure, but I'm trying to learn not to get so weighed down by my failure. Everyday offers an opportunity for me to be broken. It may be doing the dishes at home or visiting someone in prison, but all are equal opportunities for success and failure. I find myself preaching on subjects like this, and then completely blowing 2 hours after the sermon. I think that's just life. I know I'm supposed to love God, love others, and make disciples, but it just doesn't always happen. I don't say that as an excuse, but more as a statement of reality. I won't to pursue those things everyday, but I don't think God wants me to live in guilt when I fail.
So on a practical level, it just looks like a guy living life and at times putting everything before himself.
By
Cody Brown, at 8:31 AM
Nice post! Thanks for sharing.
By
Anonymous, at 4:08 PM
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